Before you saw it trending on Twitter; I thought perhaps I should clarify things.
I’m surrounded by floor to ceiling boxes at the moment and piles of stuff with no rhyme nor reason. I’ve been playing a super fun new game called Stays, Goes or Burns. Why didn’t I discover it sooner? I’m getting ready to move and downsizing at the same time. I’ll have a third of the space and hard decisions have to be made about what stays and what goes.
These decisions would be a piece of dark chocolate cake, smothered in silky chocolate buttercream with ripe, luscious raspberries – Hold on a second while I smack myself back to reality. Oh yeah, these decisions would be quite simple if it were not for one 6 foot problem.
I’m composing an anonymous e-mail at the moment informing the Enquirer that Fred Sanford is alive and well and living in my home.
I thought I’d give you a little synopsis of an argument that went down over here the other day.
Me: We need to move your bike to the garage sale pile.
HDD: No way, I need that bike, don’t touch my stuff.
Me: Really, how old are you anyways? That bike hasn’t moved since we lived here and it didn’t move in the other house either.
HDD: I have too ridden my bike since we lived here. (Wailed a 2 year old voice).
Me: SERIOUSLY (sorry I’m yelling, he was really pushing my buttons at this point)! Maybe you overlooked the fact it has two flat tires and a rusted out chain?
HDD: Look Nurse Ratchet don’t worry about my stuff, I’ll take care of it.
Me: Oh hell no - you didn’t just call me that!
Let me tell you - it took all my strength to not go straight to the kitchen and pull out one of my methodically sharpened Asian precision cutting instruments and shank him right then and there.
Me: (Did you really think he was going to get in even one word from this point forward). Look here Hot Dog Dude, I put up with your rock collection you’ve had since you were a kid, the cowboy boots that went out of style in the 90’s with 4 inches of dust on them, oh and let’s not forget your toy truck collection, but I’m drawing the line at this piece of c*** (cake) bike!
HDD: (Nothing but evil stares from him at this point).
At this point I quit talking to him because I was too busy remembering the mayo I had left out in the sun for days on end and how I needed to go inside and fix him a sandwich. Fortunately for him I just went inside and poured myself a glass of wine, after all it would be one less thing to pack.
I think we may have ended up on the evening news had it not been for a thoughtful package I received in the mail that afternoon from my dear friend Becky. Thank you such much Becky, you have no idea how much legal trouble you saved me from.
Thank you everyone for your continued support, I hope to be done moving in a couple of weeks, so I probably won’t be able to get back to regular posting until then. I wanted to share a few recipes with you that I thought sounded mighty tasty to me.
Belgian Endive Radicchio and Blood Orange Salad
Walnut Oil Mayonnaise
Enjoy,
Gina
Oh, big, big hugs to you! I can't imagine the stress involved with what you're doing. And then to have a hubby argument on top of all that, you poor thing.
ReplyDeleteGina,
ReplyDeleteYour are so welcome for the jam, and sounds like it arrived just in time. Happy to save you from legal trouble:) I hope that the rest of your moving days go smoothly. If you need more jam, just let me know! Thank you for the huge shout out.
Hugs!
gosh.. big hugs! Moving is SO stressful - believe me, i know! we have had several arguments around here about several pieces of c*** (cake!) owned by certain individuals in my home who shall remain unnamed! That little care package looks SO great! You're so blessed to have such good friends!
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for the shout out, Gina! Appreciate it :)
Isn't moving fun? Just think about how good you're going to feel when it's over!
ReplyDeleteStressful...
ReplyDeletewe moved once and it's just lousy. I told my husband next time we move we dump everything we have and just walk straight to the new house.
My husband is more or less the same..collecting stuff without organizing them properly, but never using them..just laying everything in the cellar and I hate it. I threw many things out without telling him because I know he wouldn't even notice it. Dang it...you see...I am bitching it again..and I am not even the one who has to move...
I know what you talking about! I moved 16 times in last 20 years of my life:)) so i know how stressful it is...Sending you big, huge, gigantic virtual hugs..you need them!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone and Sandra poor thing, you need a hug too.
ReplyDeleteVery Very stressful! I have to admit I just had some of those conversations with my boyfriend when we moved just recently. It is very stressful, Feels good when you are done though!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had to go through this, but i had a good laugh reading your post. It's so recognisable. Moving always brings lots of stress. What i normally do is just donate everything that i haven't touch for a year or longer. I figured i wouldn't miss it anyway.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see your easy apple pie cheese cake.
Yeah, we have a few questionable items in the basement that I'd love to toss...I feel your pain. Glad you didn't make the crime beat, though...I'd like to keep you around :) xoxo
ReplyDeletePS...that Becky is a dear!
Yikes! That would be me, I think, I have the hardest time letting go and am horrible at admitting I am at fault while in an argument. COugh. Hope all goes well!!
ReplyDeleteAm I a mean person to be silently giggling at my work cubicle? Gina, you sure know how to look at things at a lighter spectrum. Something that we all could learn from, and I am sorry to hear about your frustration too. You will be missed of course, but take all the time needed to move and sort out things in your new home. Till then, you take care!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteGina-I'm with you...and hear your pain about "moving". The worst part is when you have to move to an entire different state...several hundreds of miles away, and then again, move to another section of the county, which I had to do, and to "downsize" drastically. So nice that you are taking it so well, in spite of differences with your hubby! It will all get better soon...just take things easy, and don't worry, everything will be for the "best"...Big hugs to you, Gina!...hang in there:DDD
ReplyDeleteHi Gina,
ReplyDeleteSending good vibes your way. This too shall pass and life will get back to normal. Happy Monday.
Rita
Ick, moving. Seriously the pits. Just be full of good thoughts - of nice fresh carpets and walls that call out to be decorated. And, do I need to say it: New. Kitchen. Aw yeah.
ReplyDeleteAlso, silly rotten bike guy. If he's arguing, just let him pack and move and unpack everything. I'm sure he'd want to get rid of useless stuff after that :P
Rock collection?! Maybe that could manage to get lost in the move :)
ReplyDeleteI can't stop laughing!! My hubby and I read this and your previous posts together, we both loved them and were laughing. But my hubby is exactly the same way about his junk, I mean stuff. I'm not allowed to go into his man cave anymore, lol. Hope all is well Gina! hugs
ReplyDeleteHope your move is going well! Sorry about the bike thing...but like Nancy, I could not stop laughing :)
ReplyDeleteBig hugs!
LOL "hot dog dude" - I thought I was married to "hot dog dude"...and "sanford" - my husband could not only live on hot dogs wrapped in a tortilla with processed cheese (and potted meat) but he is the biggest pack rat EVER! sigh. I have truly enjoyed catching up on your last few posts, and boy would I have loved to join the merriment of the valentine chocolate bark and baking party!!!! The rainbow spring rolls totally rock too...i love the blueberries! and the meatloaf and mashed potato calzone...ah ma goodness...then again, I could eat ANYTHING in a calzone! Praying for your move!!!
ReplyDeleteMoving is always stressful but I think downsizing makes it more so. I helped my parents with a big down-sizing move. That was really stressful! Downsizing can be good, though, as it was for my parents. It's much less stressful to take care of a smaller home! Hope the next couple of weeks go well.
ReplyDeleteYes, I do think moving leads to spousal violence or daydreams of such. I think the toddler gene goes dormant then spikes when higher levels of testosterone are present. Patience in turn cannot survive when the estrogen pot is stirred! (sigh)
ReplyDeleteI hope your stress level lessens and those cookies taste every bit as beautiful as they look! Hugs and kissies from Taylor and I.
Dear Gina, love how you express stress with a touch of humor. It seems you have a lot more stuff than I did.:-) Good luck with the rest of it and it seems you found a great strategy to go through them. That yummy package you received also seems like a great treat in these stressful days. I also finally got internet and now I can check out my favorite blogs.:-) xoxo.
ReplyDeleteI totally just got to reading this today obviously playing a little blog catch up. This is hilarious and I swear moving makes us all crazy. My hubby and I had a very similar conversation during our move lol! I hope your move went well. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious! I love the pic of the bike spokes covered in cob-webs~ priceless! And I'm sure your hot dog dude actually believes the bike "is" priceless! :) Glad you opted for the wine over the Madd Mayo Sandwich!
ReplyDeleteMoving is so stressful. I'll be happy for you when you settle in to your new home... I'm sure the movers will end up losing a few things ;)!
Your recipes are wonderful, Gina! You're amazing! xo
Ok... I have a rock collection... I sorta think they are cool (I have a minor in Geology.). But the bike has to go!
ReplyDeleteOh Gina....this post really made me laugh out LOUD the way I do when I read anything written by David Sedaris. I just can't stifle the laughter, oh not about your stressful moving process but at the way HDD reacted. Truth is, I have a bike with cobwebs just like that and every time my hubby threatens to sell it off or donate it, I feel like getting out my methodically sharpened knives and shanking him right there and then too! LOL. Becky is just the sweetest friend in the world. I wished I lived closer to you so she could send me this yummy care package too :)
ReplyDeleteMoving is always stressful. Things do pile up especially when you've been in the same house for years. Hope everything gets sorted out soon.
ReplyDeleteOh, this made me smile. Moving can be such a pain.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about you yesterday and wondering if you're settled in. Hope most of the boxes are put away now. :)